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Learning to Utilize Discretion

#Self- Love/ Respect

I was thinking about some of my life decisions recently and reflecting on what I would have done differently, given the opportunity. During this reflection, the biggest lesson that I learned was how to use discretion. I came to the conclusion that discretion is needed in all aspects of one’s life. Whether it is choosing a partner for a relationship, a job, friends, anything that will change your life drastically needs to be approached with a great deal of consideration. For me, this was one of life’s most difficult lessons to learn. If I could teach young ladies and gentlemen a life skill to master, it would be that of utilizing discretion.

This lesson was a tough one, deciding who to give my love to and who was not worthy of my love. This was a challenging puzzle, as I often gave my heart too easily. I found, though, that if you give your love too easily, in most cases, it will be given to the wrong person and your good nature will end up being abused. If you don’t think highly enough of yourself, you can believe me when I say that no one else will either. Having self-respect and self-love attracts the type of love that you deserve. Not everyone deserves a piece of the cake that you have to offer. Some people will want the whole cake and there will be nothing left for you or anyone else.

The instruction book for life is not always clear, and difficult to figure out at times. Sometimes, we just have to take the most treacherous road to learn what we need to know. I have had a lot of twists and turns along the road that I have traveled. Regardless, I decided a long time ago that I was going to be a person who cared about other people, and I was going to be kind to others-regardless of how they treated me. I have given this a lot of thought throughout my life, as one often ponders such things. In thinking about that choice, I have come to the conclusion that caring is exactly this, a choice. I don’t think that you were born with a predisposition to care or not to care, as it is a decision that you have to make. In making the choice to be a person who cares, I have found that the easiest route at times, would have been to just walk away. Walking away is not always easy, though, and that does not always resolve the problem. Learning to have discretion about who or what to care about became my mission, as some situations became toxic to my physical and mental health. I have given so much of myself to others at times that I had nothing left of my own energy to give. I know that I have also been guilty of draining others of their time and energy, droning on about some injustice that was sent my way.

In my quest for discretion, I determined a long time ago that I would no longer let other people, places or things choose me, and moving forward I would be the one doing the choosing. Whether it is a marriage partner, a job, or some other important decision in your life that needs great thought. Using discretion will let you be the driver and you will have control of your future. In the past I have been involved in relationships where I was chosen, took jobs that were not deserving of my talents, let people motivate me according to what they wanted from me. These decisions had a profound effect on my life and sometimes were not the best options for my personal development.

Learning to sit thoughtfully and make good decisions that will not debase you as an individual became a priority in my life. I found that your gut instinct is usually correct. When something is not as it should be, your gut may send you a warning signal. It was on the occasions that I did not listen to my gut that I found myself in an uncomfortable situation.

In my opinion, learning to use discretion is one of the most important lessons that one could learn, in order to have a happy and fulfilling life. But that is for you to decide.


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